Your Money Story Doesn’t Define You: How to Rewrite Your Financial Narrative and Stop Holding Yourself Back
- Davina Jackson
- Dec 15, 2024
- 13 min read
Updated: Dec 26, 2024
Welcome to The Woman CFO – a space crafted just for you, where we embark on a journey of financial empowerment.
What’s the first thought that pops into your head when you hear the word money?
Is it something like, “I’m not good with money,” or maybe, “I’ll never get ahead”?
We all carry deeply rooted money stories - those little narratives we tell ourselves about what’s possible (or not) when it comes to our finances.
These stories aren’t just harmless thoughts; they shape every decision you make, from how you spend your paycheck to whether you pursue that big opportunity that could change your life.
The kicker? Most of these stories aren’t even ours to begin with. They’re handed down from our families, shaped by our culture, or born out of challenging circumstances.
Maybe you grew up hearing, “We can’t afford that,” so now you automatically assume you can’t afford anything. Or perhaps society’s message that women are “bad with money” has kept you second-guessing your financial choices.
Whatever your money story is: it doesn’t have to define you. You have the power to change it and its outcome.
In this week’s blog post, we’re going to get in our feelings and discuss the money stories we tell ourselves - where they come from, and (most importantly) how to rewrite them.
By the end, you’ll have the tools to ditch the limiting beliefs, embrace a mindset of abundance, and start building the financial life you want - and it’s going to feel oh so good.
Key Points
What money stories are and why they matter: Understand how the beliefs you’ve inherited about money shape your financial decisions and life outcomes.
Why this matters for women: Explore how shifting your money mindset can help you build a brighter financial future - for yourself and generations to come.
Common money stories women tell themselves: Discover the narratives holding you back, like "I can’t afford it" or "I’ll never make enough."
How to identify and rewrite limiting money stories: Learn how to uncover the stories influencing your financial life and replace them with empowering beliefs.
Actionable strategies for financial freedom: Turn your new money stories into real-world results with practical steps that inspire confidence and growth.
Instant Gratification Zone: Skip to the Good Stuff
What Are Money Stories?
Money stories are the personal narratives we tell ourselves about money - what it is, how it works, and what it means for us. These stories aren’t just fleeting thoughts; they’re deeply rooted beliefs shaped by our upbringing, culture, and experiences.
Think about it: if you were constantly told as a child that “money doesn’t grow on trees,” you might have internalized a scarcity mindset.
On the flip side, if you grew up in a household where money flowed freely but wasn’t valued, you might see it as something that’s easy to lose.
In other words, money stories influence everything from how you approach budgeting and saving to how you think about earning and investing.
The danger comes when these narratives limit your potential or keep you in financial patterns that don’t serve your best interests.
The good news? You have the power to rewrite them.
The Emotional Weight of Money Stories
Money stories aren't just words we tell ourselves - they’re stories that live in our heads and carry heavy emotional baggage like fear, shame, guilt, insecurity, and even pride.
And while they might feel like truths in the moment, they can either drive us forward or keep us stuck in old patterns.
For instance, if you grew up watching your parents struggle with money, you might feel a lingering fear of financial instability, even when your finances are secure. Or if you’ve experienced financial setbacks, you might carry guilt or shame about your past decisions, making it harder to take positive steps forward.
On the other hand, positive money stories - like feeling pride in your ability to save or invest - can motivate you to keep building your financial future.
The key is recognizing the emotions tied to your money stories. Because when you acknowledge them, you take away their power to control you.
Why Money Stories Affect Women More
Money stories hold power over everyone, but for women, the impact often runs deeper. We face unique financial challenges such as gender pay gap, career breaks for caregiving, and longer lifespans that require more savings for retirement.
These societal pressures can reinforce negative money stories like "I’ll never make enough" or "I’m bad with money," creating barriers to financial confidence and growth.
Additionally, cultural expectations often cast women as caregivers rather than breadwinners, further embedding these limiting beliefs, and making us feel like the cards are stacked against us.
So, when we women internalize these stories, they shape our financial decisions - whether it’s hesitating to negotiate a salary, avoiding investments, or feeling undeserving of financial success.
But here’s the thing - your money story is yours to rewrite. And rewriting it is so much more than just personal growth. It’s about claiming your power in a system that hasn’t always worked in your favor.
When you take control of the narratives you’ve been told and shift them into empowering ones, you’re stepping into your true financial power with the ability to break generational cycles, reclaim your worth, gain financial independence, and create a legacy of confidence - setting an example for others.
Remember, money isn’t just a tool - it’s a key to independence, security, and freedom, and rewriting these stories puts that key firmly in your hands.
But before we get to rewriting our stories, let’s first identify the ones that most of us are working with.
Common Money Stories Women Tell Themselves
Let’s face it - women have some unique money stories, and we often carry them like a badge of honor, even when they’re not serving us.
The thing is, the longer we hold onto these limiting beliefs, the harder it becomes to break free. So, let’s get real about some of the most common money stories women tell themselves and how they hold us back:
Money Story #1: “I can’t afford it”
This is probably the most common story we hear. Whether it’s splurging on that dream vacation or treating yourself to something special, we automatically shut down the possibility by saying, “I can’t afford it.”
This story keeps us in a scarcity mindset, limiting our ability to attract opportunities and even forgetting that sometimes it’s about making space for the things that matter most.
So, instead of asking, “Can I afford it?” try asking, “How can I afford it?”
Money Story #2: “Everything is so expensive”
While there’s truth in rising costs, focusing solely on expenses instead of possibilities can lead to a defeatist mindset. So when you say, “everything is so expensive,” you’re projecting scarcity into your future.
The truth is, things will always cost more than we want, but your financial power lies in how you choose to navigate those costs - whether through budgeting, smarter spending, or creating additional streams of income.
Instead, ask yourself "what if I shifted my focus to increasing your income instead of cutting corners?"
Money Story #3: “I’ll never make more money”
This one often comes up when we feel stuck in a job, a career, or a financial situation. It’s a defeatist mindset that stops you from negotiating your salary, exploring side hustles, or investing in your skills.
When you tell yourself, “I’ll never make more money,” you close the door on potential growth.
Instead, remind yourself: your earning potential is not capped—it’s waiting to be unlocked.
Money Story #4: “I’m just not good with money”
How many times have you heard a woman joke about being bad with numbers or budgeting? Many women carry the belief that managing money is a skill reserved for others.
It’s a story that comes from not having the right guidance or fear of failure, but guess what? Money management is a learnable skill, and there’s no reason you can’t become great at it.
You’ve got everything you need to succeed - you just have to start taking the reins.
Money Story #5: “I have to do it all on my own”
Here’s another sneaky money story. Women often feel like we have to juggle everything ourselves - from managing the budget to securing the future. This mindset can lead to burnout and stress.
The truth is, seeking help - whether through coaching, a financial planner, or asking for support - is one of the smartest moves you can make.
No one has to do it alone, especially when it comes to money.
Money Story #6: “I’ll never get ahead with all this debt”
Many women find themselves overwhelmed by debt and believe they’ll never get out of it. But here’s the thing: debt doesn’t define you.
With a solid plan, patience, and small consistent steps, you can tackle your debt and build a strong financial foundation for your future.
Money Story #7: “I don’t have enough time to focus on money”
We’re all busy, and when life gets chaotic, managing finances can seem like a daunting task. This story keeps us from taking small actions that can make a big difference.
The truth? Even taking 10 minutes a day to organize or review your finances can add up to massive improvements over time.
Money Story #8: “Money is stressful”
For many women, money feels like a constant source of anxiety, tied to juggling bills, managing debt, or worrying about unexpected expenses. This stress often stems from not having a clear plan, which makes finances feel chaotic and overwhelming.
But the truth is, money doesn’t have to be your enemy. It’s a tool that works better when you take control of it.
Building a budget, setting realistic goals, and automating your savings are small steps that can reduce financial stress and give you peace of mind - helping you create a healthier relationship with your money.
Every time you catch yourself thinking or saying one of these money stories, challenge it. Ask yourself: Is this serving me? Is it really true?
Then take one small action to rewrite the narrative in a way that empowers you to take back control.
Identify Your Money Stories
Before you can rewrite your money stories, you need to uncover what those stories actually are.
Think of it like cleaning out your closet - you’ve got to sift through the clutter to find what’s truly worth keeping:
1. Reflect on your upbringing
What messages did you hear about money growing up? Were you taught that money was hard to come by? Or that people with money are greedy? Were you encouraged to be independent or were you taught to be careful, even fearful, about money?
These early lessons often stick with us and shape how we interact with money as adults.
2. Examine your financial patterns
Your actions reveal a lot about your subconscious beliefs. Are you constantly overspending, saving excessively, or avoiding your finances altogether?
Your actions can reveal the beliefs driving them.
3. Track your emotional reactions
Money isn’t just about numbers - it’s about emotions, too. How do you feel when you check your bank balance? When you see your friends go on vacations or make big purchases? When you hear about someone else’s financial success?
If you feel jealous, frustrated, or anxious, there’s a story beneath that emotion, and a clear indicator of the stories you’re holding onto.
4. Write it down
Take a moment to journal about your relationship with money. Ask yourself:
What do I believe about earning, saving, and spending?
What money goals have I been avoiding?
What are the fears or beliefs holding me back from achieving them?
Be honest—you might uncover stories you didn’t even realize you were telling yourself.
5. Pay attention to your self-talk
The next time you’re faced with a financial decision, listen to your inner voice. Are you thinking, “I can’t do this,” or, “I deserve better”?
These thoughts are clues to your deeper money stories.
Remember, awareness is the first step to change. Once you know your money stories, you’re ready to rewrite them.
Rewrite Your Money Story
Now that you’ve uncovered your money stories, it’s time to take the reins and rewrite them. This is where you flip the script of your money movie and create a new narrative that works for you.
Here’s how:
Rewrite #1: Challenge the old money story
The first step to rewriting your money story is to challenge those old beliefs that no longer serve you because most money stories are based on outdated assumptions or fear, not reality.
So, if you’ve been telling yourself, “I can’t afford this” or “Money is hard to come by,” ask yourself: Is that really true? What would be possible if I believed I could afford it or make more money?
Rewrite #2: Create a new money story
It’s time to start crafting the story you want to live by. One that aligns with your goals, your values, and the future you want to create.
Replace limiting beliefs with empowering ones. For example, if your current story is “Money is always tight,” rewrite it to something like: “I am always finding ways to make more money and build my wealth.” Or if your old story is “I’ll never be able to make enough,” rewrite it to: “I have the skills and determination to increase my income.”
When crafting your new money story, be specific and make it present tense. Use empowering language that excites you and makes you feel unstoppable.
The more you believe in your new story, the more your reality will begin to shift.
Rewrite #3: Visualize your new money reality
Now that you’ve written a new story, it’s time to visualize it. Take a few minutes each day to imagine yourself living your new money story. Picture yourself confidently paying off debt, saving for your future, or investing in opportunities that align with your goals.
Visualizing your financial success helps to rewire your brain and solidify the new story you’re telling yourself.
Create a vision board or a money manifestation journal where you can visually track your progress. Make your new money story something you can see, feel, and experience daily.
Rewrite #4: Take aligned action
It’s easy to get stuck in the thought process of “I’ll believe it when I see it,” but the truth is, you need to see it to believe it - and you can start by taking one small action today.
Whether it’s budgeting, setting up an emergency fund, or scheduling a money meeting with yourself, small steps lead to big changes.
Don’t wait for everything to be perfect - start where you are, and keep building. The more consistent action you take toward your new money story, the more it will become your new reality.
Rewrite #5: Surround yourself with positive reinforcement
Rewriting your money story is powerful, but it’s even more powerful when you surround yourself with the right people and resources.
Join a community of women who are also on their journey to financial freedom. Share your story with a financial mentor or coach who can help guide you.
Also listen to podcasts, read books, or follow social media accounts that inspire and support your new money story.
The more you immerse yourself in positive reinforcement, the more confident you’ll become in your ability to rewrite your money story.
Rewrite #6: Practice patience and self-compassion
It’s important to remember that rewriting your money story takes time. You won’t see instant results, and that’s okay!
Celebrate your small wins, be kind to yourself when you stumble, and keep going. You’re building something amazing - one step at a time.
Remember, rewriting your money stories isn’t an overnight process. With consistency, you’ll start to see a shift, not just in your mindset but in your financial reality
Turn Your New Money Story Into Action
Your rewritten money story is your blueprint, but it’s the action that turns it into reality. Here’s how to make it happen:
Action #1: Start small, but start now
When you first rewrite your money story, it can feel like you're on the edge of something big, but that doesn't mean you have to take giant leaps right away.
Start small, but start now. Choose one area of your finances that aligns with your new story and take action.
Action #2: Set SMART goals
It’s one thing to rewrite your story, but it’s another to back it up with a solid plan. To turn your new money story into reality, break your goals down into manageable SMART steps.
Be specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound - whether that’s paying off debt, building an emergency fund, or boosting your credit score.
Instead of saying, “I want to save more,” try, “I’ll save $200 a month for the next six months.”
Action #3: Track Your Progress
As you take action, make sure you’re tracking your progress. This will help you see how far you’ve come and motivate you to keep pushing forward.
Whether it’s using a budget tracker, a financial journal, or a simple spreadsheet, keep tabs on your milestones. Seeing your progress will motivate you to keep going.
Action #5: Celebrate your wins
Treat yourself (within reason) and acknowledge your progress. Paid off a credit card? Saved $50 this week? Every small step counts.
Your New Money Story Starts Today
As women, we have the strength, the smarts, and the resilience to take control of our finances and make choices that align with our values, goals, and dreams. The key is recognizing the stories that no longer serve us and taking bold action to create new ones that empower us to thrive.
When you understand how the stories you tell yourself shape your financial decisions, you will unlock the power to make lasting changes.
In releasing old, limiting beliefs and replacing them with new, empowering narratives, you will set yourself on the path to financial freedom.
So, what’s your next step?
It’s time to put those new money stories into motion. Whether it’s negotiating a raise, starting an investment plan, or simply changing the way you talk about money, your actions will reinforce the new story you’re creating.
Remember, you are the author of your financial journey. The old story is gone, and today is the day you start writing a new chapter: one where you hold the pen and the power.
Don’t wait for tomorrow to take control. Your new money story starts now!
Have a money story you’re rewriting? Share it in the comments or tag me on social media @thewomancfo. I’d love to cheer you on!
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